Relationship, Touch and Partner Yoga
In our temporal world each of us is confined to a physical body. This makes our internal experience solitary by nature. Through the simple act of touch it is possible to come into a knowing, an understanding of what is happening in ourselves and in others. When I consider what existence would be like without touch, what comes to mind is meaningless isolation. Partner Yoga, a practice based on conscious physical contact takes us out of isolation and into meaningful connection.
Elysabeth and I usually begin our Partner Yoga workshops with a short presentation. We demonstrate a series of postures progressing from simple to advanced. This flow series is choreographed and often set to music. In a very real sense what we are doing is a dance. For me it is always personal and intimate to share this. When I reflect on what’s happening during the demonstration, I see two primary connections—one within myself and one between Elysabeth and I. A third connection also exists between me and those witnessing. What I realize in this is that despite everyone’s presence, my experience is uniquely mine and mine alone.
We encourage people to watch or to ‘take in’ our demonstration by welcoming the experience into their bodies as much as into their minds. This may sound a bit strange but in the context of ‘being’ it is a powerful way to experience what’s happening. Intimate, beautiful, peaceful are common descriptors people share with us. Are these accurate reflections of my experience, of Elysabeth’s experience, of the experience we share together? Or is the person witnessing the demonstration expressing something from within themselves? The simple answer is that it’s about their experience. Even so, I think something else is going on. And that something else is the transformative power of Partner Yoga.
All shared experiences are experiences of projection. Each one of us has our own ideas, beliefs, feelings, fears, intuitions, and desires. It is through these perceptions we filter all of our experiences. In short, we have a story about everything and we spend a lot of time and energy reacting to our story. Most therapy is directed toward the remaking of story—and rightfully so because so often it is our story and not our reality that keeps us from living free and empowered lives.
In Partner Yoga, touch is the primary mode of relating. When we practice Partner Yoga we open ourselves to an immediacy of experience. Not only do we share space with someone, we are in intimate physical contact with them. Many people assume it is the physical aspects of Partner Yoga that can make the practices challenging. However, in my experience as a facilitator I see it is the emotional and psychological aspects that provide the greater challenge. In Partner Yoga, our stories can be easily triggered and what comes up often surprises us. In these challenging moments, it is the physical contact that creates a dynamic for change to occur. Through touch, I am drawn into a deepened awareness—a grounded presence of who I am. It is here that Partner Yoga brings forth its transformative power. From that place of being I can begin to let go of story.
In one sense the practices of Partner Yoga are very simple and it is this simplicity that enables me to see how my story is not working. My belief may be that my partner cannot support me or that I cannot trust them. Many of my real world experiences have left me disappointed in these same areas. When I experience the physical support in the Prone Sacral Connection practice or the power in letting go of fear in the Hanging Inversion practice, my story literally begins to come undone. The physical contact between my partner and me creates a vulnerability that allows for the imprint of new story. The nurturing quality of this contact enables that story to take hold.
This is an incredibly powerful phenomenon. I believe the effectiveness of many forms of therapy would significantly improve if touch were made an integral part. Human contact is that powerful. More often than not it was destructive physical contact or the withholding of nurturing contact that internalized ‘bad story’ for us in the first place.
In our letting go of story we come to know ourselves as we truly are. My projections come into alignment with reality. I see myself and am seen as I am—and I see others as they are. We become mirrors for one another having the capacity to reflect and affirm the beauty and essence of who we are.
At the end of our workshops we often ask people to share something of their experience with the group. It is deeply gratifying for me when people use the same descriptors they did in sharing about Elysabeth and I: intimate, beautiful, peaceful. Through these reflections I sense the depth with which this work serves others. Joy and contentment fill my heart. I know I am not alone and it is a good thing to be alive.
Rex Seader
Previoulsy published in April 2006 issue of Motif Magazine
Elysabeth and I usually begin our Partner Yoga workshops with a short presentation. We demonstrate a series of postures progressing from simple to advanced. This flow series is choreographed and often set to music. In a very real sense what we are doing is a dance. For me it is always personal and intimate to share this. When I reflect on what’s happening during the demonstration, I see two primary connections—one within myself and one between Elysabeth and I. A third connection also exists between me and those witnessing. What I realize in this is that despite everyone’s presence, my experience is uniquely mine and mine alone.
We encourage people to watch or to ‘take in’ our demonstration by welcoming the experience into their bodies as much as into their minds. This may sound a bit strange but in the context of ‘being’ it is a powerful way to experience what’s happening. Intimate, beautiful, peaceful are common descriptors people share with us. Are these accurate reflections of my experience, of Elysabeth’s experience, of the experience we share together? Or is the person witnessing the demonstration expressing something from within themselves? The simple answer is that it’s about their experience. Even so, I think something else is going on. And that something else is the transformative power of Partner Yoga.
All shared experiences are experiences of projection. Each one of us has our own ideas, beliefs, feelings, fears, intuitions, and desires. It is through these perceptions we filter all of our experiences. In short, we have a story about everything and we spend a lot of time and energy reacting to our story. Most therapy is directed toward the remaking of story—and rightfully so because so often it is our story and not our reality that keeps us from living free and empowered lives.
In Partner Yoga, touch is the primary mode of relating. When we practice Partner Yoga we open ourselves to an immediacy of experience. Not only do we share space with someone, we are in intimate physical contact with them. Many people assume it is the physical aspects of Partner Yoga that can make the practices challenging. However, in my experience as a facilitator I see it is the emotional and psychological aspects that provide the greater challenge. In Partner Yoga, our stories can be easily triggered and what comes up often surprises us. In these challenging moments, it is the physical contact that creates a dynamic for change to occur. Through touch, I am drawn into a deepened awareness—a grounded presence of who I am. It is here that Partner Yoga brings forth its transformative power. From that place of being I can begin to let go of story.
In one sense the practices of Partner Yoga are very simple and it is this simplicity that enables me to see how my story is not working. My belief may be that my partner cannot support me or that I cannot trust them. Many of my real world experiences have left me disappointed in these same areas. When I experience the physical support in the Prone Sacral Connection practice or the power in letting go of fear in the Hanging Inversion practice, my story literally begins to come undone. The physical contact between my partner and me creates a vulnerability that allows for the imprint of new story. The nurturing quality of this contact enables that story to take hold.
This is an incredibly powerful phenomenon. I believe the effectiveness of many forms of therapy would significantly improve if touch were made an integral part. Human contact is that powerful. More often than not it was destructive physical contact or the withholding of nurturing contact that internalized ‘bad story’ for us in the first place.
In our letting go of story we come to know ourselves as we truly are. My projections come into alignment with reality. I see myself and am seen as I am—and I see others as they are. We become mirrors for one another having the capacity to reflect and affirm the beauty and essence of who we are.
At the end of our workshops we often ask people to share something of their experience with the group. It is deeply gratifying for me when people use the same descriptors they did in sharing about Elysabeth and I: intimate, beautiful, peaceful. Through these reflections I sense the depth with which this work serves others. Joy and contentment fill my heart. I know I am not alone and it is a good thing to be alive.
Rex Seader
Previoulsy published in April 2006 issue of Motif Magazine
posted by rex at 2/18/2006 08:23:00 AM
1 Comments:
nice article
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